Dating a man with aspergers
Does he pick the exact moment when you’re trying to unpack the food shopping, feed the children and let the dog out, all at once, to ask why his navy argyle socks are not in the drawer?If his behaviour seems inexplicable – and, frankly, infuriating – then you’ll be relieved to hear that there may be a good explanation for it: Asperger’s syndrome (AS).Occasionally a viewer might feel like the film is making him appear more eccentric than he really is (the questioning about his masturbation practices was certainly intrusive and unnecessary), but for the most part Sokolow’s subject comes across as disarmingly relatable. By painting his romantic tribulations as akin to a cultural difference (Matthews’ own analogy) instead of a mental condition, the viewer is able to see him as a decent man adapting to strange customs rather than as some ineffably different “other.” Indeed, from its opening frame, the movie practically invites its audience to shout feedback and advice back at the screen.When he posts flyers with personal ads throughout his hometown, one hopes that he realizes even the most handsome guy would have a hard time getting dates through that approach; as he shares a single Halloween party dance with a buxom woman in a Minnie Mouse costume who never reappears in the film, you wonder if he realized that he possibly could have gotten a date with her if he had just asked; and so the pattern goes.At its heart, “Aspie Seeks Love” is a parable about loneliness — a condition which afflicts everyone at some point in their lives and for far too many proves incurable. Matthews, the titular Aspie, spends the bulk of the film trying to avoid.A Pennsylvania writer and artist who wasn’t diagnosed with AS until he was 41, Matthews possesses all of the tell-tale signs of high-functioning autism — remarkable intelligence, social awkwardness, a wealth of personality tics and other idiosyncrasies.Matthews is funny, intriguing, eccentric, articulate, a talented artist — all qualities that many people find appealing.
But if you focus on the positive aspects, it could make him the ideal husband Is your other half more likely to remember the score of the FA Cup final 12 years ago than he is to buy a present for your child’s birthday?
It is not your partner’s fault that he doesn’t understand certain social expectations, just as it is not your fault that you don’t understand how the pipes in your house work.”2. If you don’t know much about AS, it’s easy to misinterpret your partner’s actions and think they don’t care about you.
Educating yourself on how AS functions can be a huge help in better understanding your partner and feeling compassion toward them.
But the good news is that, by understanding the way an AS man’s brain is wired and making the most of his qualities, it is possible to bring out the best in him – and have a fulfilling, or certainly less frustrating, relationship.
Men with (suspected) Asperger’s are everywhere – in the highest offices of power and at the top of the most influential companies.
Shows like "The Big Bang Theory" and "Silicon Valley" glamorize these nerds by showing them to not only make big bucks, but actually get the girl (even if she's a nerdy girl too).